The Third Go-Around (Mewtwo's Second Lawsuit)
by The Vicious One
Summary: Look out, it's coming back!!! What starts as a lawsuit becomes pure chaos!!! R for Language, Death, Sexual Situations and Suggestive Dialouge. Plus, everyone's favorite kitsune from Sonic makes a guest appearance, and so does Vicious! ^__^


The Third Go-Around (Mewtwo's Second Lawsuit)  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own pokémon in any way, okay? Did you hear me out? I DON'T OWN THEM! Plus I don't own anything from Beavis and Butthead, Ed, Edd, n Eddy, Space Ghost, Mad TV, Sonic the Hedgehog, ect.  
  
  
Open to U.D. as always, only this time...  
  
Mewtwo: (Watching Fear Factor) Now this is TRULY better than The Weakest Link.  
Lugia: (Strolls in) Well, hey there, Mewster.  
Mewtwo: Lugia, since when have you called me 'Mewster'?  
Lugia: Umm...this is my frist time.  
Mewtwo: I see... So, how's things going with your guy girlfriend?  
Lugia: Please, Mewtwo. Not today. I know Celebi and I are...well, you know...  
Mewtwo: Queer?  
Lugia: Yeah, that's it.  
Mewtwo: It's hot here...I need a soda. (Leaves to go to the Pokémart)  
Lugia: ...Where's Mew?  
  
At the Pokémart...  
  
Mewtwo: (Walks in) YO, JOEY!!!  
Joey: (Pops up from behind the counter) Ah, g-r-r-reetings, chum!  
Mewtwo: Yeah, cut the small talk. Got any Pepsi?  
Joey: Ah, yes, we do! (Hands Mewtwo a 20oz)  
Mewtwo: (Puts 50 zenny on the counter) 50 zen, take it or leave it.  
Joey: Do I have a choice? (Rings him up) Thanks!  
  
Mewtwo leaves the Pokémart. Then, from out of nowhere...Mewtwo sees an oncoming car, and stops it with his psy powers.  
  
Mewtwo: Stupid car driving fools...  
  
But then, the car rolls onto Mewtwo's left foot. A small crunch is heard.  
  
Mewtwo: YOUCH!!! ALL RIGHT! WHO'S THE WISE GUY WHO BROKE MY FOOT?!  
  
Tracy then steps out of the car.  
  
Tracy: Oh, hi, Mewtwo. (Notices what happened) Opps! Sorry, man.  
Mewtwo: Sorry? SORRY?!? I'M SUING YOU FOR BREAKING MY FOOT, YOU DIMWIT!  
Tracy: Uhhhhh, lawsuit?  
Mewtwo: Yeah, Tracy. You know, the whole thing where I sue you, then I get money, and your ass goes to jail?  
Tracy: And?  
Mewtwo: And you get gang-probed by some guy named Butch?  
Tracy: And?  
Mewtwo: YOU GET CUT UP INTO TINY PIECES WITH A CHAINSAW BY SOME GUY NAMED VICIOUS?!  
Tracy: And?  
Mewtwo: ...I'M SUING YOU!  
Tracy: How much then, hmm?  
Lugia: (From out of nowhere) How about ten million dollars?  
Mewtwo: Don't you mean, a hundred billion?  
Lugia: Oh, my bad.  
Tracy: Eh, I got a good lawyer. I'll beat you easily!  
Mewtwo: Oh really?  
  
Mewtwo and Lugia go to Attorney at Law...JOE ADLER?!?  
  
Mewtwo: So, anyways, Tracy ran over my foot.  
Joe Adler: Gentlemen, what we have here is a clear case of negligence. We are going to sue Cerulean City. We are going to sue Kanto. We are going to sue Car Dealership. And we are going to sue Tracy Sketchit.  
Lugia: Cool!  
  
So, at the courthouse the following day...  
  
Baliff: All rise, Jude Vicious Mewtwo, care of VICIOUS MEWTWO INC.  
Vicious: Eh, it's my living. Be seated. The case of... (Notices Joe Adler) Security, remove Joe.  
  
Security does so.  
  
Mewtwo: Why'd you do that?!  
Vicious: He's a crook. You don't need that, what you need is...  
  
Lugia and Celebi stand at the doors of the courthouse.  
  
Lugia: Prepare for trouble.  
Celebi: It will be doubled.  
Vicious: Ok, stop! If you go three more seconds, you gotta buy the parody! I need as much zenny as I cane get!  
Celebi: Well, it was fun.  
Lugia: Lugia and Celebi, Attorneys at Law.  
Celebi: And love.  
The whole courtroom: Yuck!  
Vicious: Sick twits.  
Lugia and Celebi: (Rolls eyes) We don't care.  
Mewtwo: (Thoughts) (God, this is not going to end well.)  
  
Tracy's up at the stand, and Vicious has a gun pointed at Tracy's head.  
  
Baliff: You swear to tell the truth, and so forth?  
Tracy: Of course!  
Vicious: (Loads a bullet into the gun) (Ambient clicking sound)  
Tracy: Uh, I do.  
Vicious: (Nods)  
Lugia: Now then, tell us, in your own words...  
Tracy: DES NA SCHNITCA WETEGESCA!  
Vicious: (Ambient clicking sound again) Try syllables, Tracy.  
Tracy: Ok, ok! I'll be good. It all started yesterday.  
  
(Wavy screen transition)  
  
Scenery of flowers and a smiling sun.  
  
Tracy: I was driving my car.  
  
A nice white car strolls by.  
  
Tracy: Then, out of nowhere...  
  
A dark purple Mewtwo runs out with a shotgun.  
  
Tracy: This Mewtwo wanted to kill me, so I dodged him. But then...  
  
The Mewtwo jumps at Tracy, and gets his foot crushed by the car.  
  
Tracy: He deliberately just stuck his foot out in front of me!  
Lugia: Oh, please!  
  
(POP! Scene ends)  
  
Lugia: Is that the truth? (Blows raspberry)  
The whole courtroom: (Laughs)  
Celebi: Love him or hate him, he's got a great sense of humor.  
Lugia: Ok, Celebi, that was to good. No more questions Vicious. (Walks over Celebi, and they share a passionate, and queer, kiss.)  
Vicious: O__o  
Mewtwo: (Thoughts) (My friends are freaks.)  
Vicious: (Thoughts) (And I thought Tracy and Smeargle was strange ship!)  
Tails: (In the jury) (Thoughts) (Now that is more sick than that 'Hooked on Sonics' ep I was in!)  
  
(NOTE: If you watch SaTAM, watch that ep. and see what I mean. I laughed at that ep. for hours when I saw it!)  
  
Vicious: Ok, Mewtwo. Come to the stand, and let's get this over with. I got a meeting with the producer of Final Fantasy 7 about a jeans commercial.  
Mewtwo: 'Old Navy'?  
Vicious: Look, work is work! Just get up to the damn stand!  
  
Mewtwo does so.  
  
Celebi: Ok, Mewtwo. What happened?  
Mewtwo: My foot got broke.  
Celebi: How?  
Mewtwo: Tracy.  
Celebi: Why?  
Mewtwo: He's a jerk-off.  
Celebi: No further questions.  
  
Lugia approaches.  
  
Lugia: Exactly how did this happen?  
Mewtwo: Well, it's like this.  
  
(Wavy scene transition)  
  
Mewtwo: I was walking down the street. (Mewtwo walks with afro-puffed hair.) When all of the sudden...  
  
Tracy drives ferociously fast down the street.  
  
Tracy: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!!!!  
Mewtwo: OH, MY GOD!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!  
Celebi: Wait a minute!  
  
(POP! Scene ends)  
  
Celebi: Didn't you have a shotgun?  
Mewtwo: Oh, yeah!  
  
(Same scene, but now, Mewtwo holds a shotgun.)  
  
Tracy: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!!!!  
  
Mewtwo shoots the car, but to no avail.  
  
Mewtwo: Then, the unthinkable happened.  
  
(Squish!)  
  
Mewtwo: Ow, hey! My foot!  
Lugia: Now, hold on, Two!  
  
(POP! Scene ends)  
  
Lugia: Afro hair? Shotguns? PEPSI?! What's the problem here?!  
Mewtwo: Stop dissin' my story!  
Vicious: Yeah, leave it alone. (Types madly on his notebook) All for Vicious, all for Vicious!  
Mewtwo: Anyway...  
  
(Same scene continues)  
  
Tracy: Blah blah blah! Blah! Blah blah! (Translation: Eh, I got a good lawyer. I'll beat you easily!)  
Celebi: Hoona igna chowa neeha!  
Lugia: Hoona igna chowa neeha!  
Mewtwo: I'M SUING YOU!!!  
Lugia: WAIT!!!  
  
(POP! Scene ends)  
  
Lugia: Stop ripping off Ed, Edd, n Eddy and Space Ghost, Mewtwo!  
Mewtwo: IT'S MY STORY!!! I'LL TELL IT THE WAY I WANT TO!  
Tails: I like it!  
18: Oh, you do? Personally, I liked The Great Chikorino.  
Mewtwo: Anyways, um...eh, crap! Vicious, I got a bad case of writer's block.  
Vicious: So do I, but do you see that I'm still typing fanfictions?  
Mewtwo: Is it a natural career, or is this your dream job?  
Vicious: Look, Mewtwo. I'll make it short and sweet, ok? The reason I write is because, (grows big headed) I LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE, AND IT'S A VICTIMLESS HOBBY, AND IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, YOU CAN JUST GO TO HELL!!!  
Mewtwo: O.O  
Vicious: -__- (Thoughts) (I need Tylenol.) (Mewluver owns that line. Hats off to her!)  
Mewtwo: ...Well, uhhhhhhh, anyways...  
  
(Wavy scene transition)  
  
Mewtwo runs around with a big censor bar around his fold area.  
  
Mewtwo: BAM! I'm the evil Naked Man!  
Mew: Oh, wait for me, Mewtwo!  
  
(Cut back to Vicious)  
  
Vicious: Look, is this a lawsuit case, or is this another episode of Mad TV that I don't know I'm on.  
Antonia: (In the jury) (stares at Mewtwo)  
Tails: O__o  
Antonia: (to Tails) I have a cat named Fifi.  
Tails: Whoop-de-doo! I don't care.  
Vicious: Ok, I'm gonna ask the jury to please go in the backroom, make a verdict, so we can get out of here.  
  
10 minutes later...  
  
Vicious: Mr. Foreman, has the jury reached a verdict?  
17: Umm, no, sir.  
Vicious: God...ok, just take little pieces of paper, and say either 'GUILTY' or 'NOT GUILTY', then hand them to me. We'll decide Tracy's fate, a la Survivor.  
  
10 hours later...  
  
Vicious: Ok, hand them to me.  
  
17 hands a basket to Vicious.  
  
Vicious: 'Guilty'. 'Guilty'. 'I'll kill Krillin someday!' (Stares at 18 awkwardly) 'Guilty'. 'I have a cat named Fifi.'  
Antonia: Order in court.  
Vicious: o__O# 'Guilty'. 'Sonic and Sally kissed! GROSS!!!!!!!'  
Tails: Well, it's true!  
Celebi: Maybe so, but I agree with you there, foxy.  
Vicious: Ok, this is going absolutely nowhere. So, Tracy, I sentence you to pay Mewtwo with a 20oz bottle of Pepsi.  
Tracy: And if I refuse?  
Vicious: Ok, now I sentence you to death! Bee-otch! (Whips out a pistol and shots Tracy in the head six times.)  
Tails: Cool!  
Antonia: I have a cat named Fifi.  
The whole courtroom: O__o  
Vicious: All right, I've had enough! (Dails 1-900-HELP-ME!!!)  
  
Two men in white coats carry Antonia off.  
  
Antonia: Order in court.  
  
Later, at U.D.  
  
Mewtwo: Boy, uh, this was a strange day.  
Lugia: You said it.  
Mew: HELLO!  
Mewtwo: Mew! Where'd you come from?  
Mew: Rainbow Cloud, silly!  
Mewtwo: Ok, well, what's up?  
Mew: You are.  
Mewtwo: You already knew that!  
Mew: So? Let's kiss! (They start making out)  
Lugia: (Immediately whips out the cam-corder)  
Celebi: Filmin' another porno movie, huh?  
Lugia: Yep!  
Mewtwo: Oh no, not this time! (They go to Mewtwo's room)  
Lugia: He'll be surprised when he finds my other cam-corder in there too!  
Celebi: Cool!  
Lugia: (Looks at the cam-corder he's got, then looks at Celebi) I love you, Celebi...  
Celebi: Lugia...don't look at me like that...I, uh...um, are we gonna make love or something?  
Lugia: Oh, yes...we are. (Marvin Gaye's 'Let's get it on' plays)  
Celebi: (Gulp) Uh, heh heh, uh, Lugia...  
Lugia: Lose the fold.  
Celebi: Oh, dear...  
  
  
END! PLEASE!!!  
  
Vicious: The fanfiction you just read was purely weird and semi-lemon like. If you or someone you know read this, please keep saying to yourself, 'It's only a fanfic!' If not, call 1-900-HELP-ME, and tell 'em Vicious sent ya! Ta ta, that's the REAL end! 


End file.
